A low self-esteem is usually determined by unconscious and harmful beliefs about ourselves. Psychotherapy can detect and disarm them
But lets go step by step: It is said that self-esteem is to love oneself.
But what is behind this phrase?
Loving us encompasses all levels of our life. It is impossible to take care of some aspects and abandon others. When something goes wrong it usually reflects in some aspects of the material, or relational level. But, the source of self-esteem is how we consider ourselves.
Let’s look at the different levels :
- physical material level: Our body, our house and our things.
- relational level or our relationships with other people.
- self-referential level or what we think of ourselves.
The esteem of our person on a physical and material level:
It refers to the visible and the tangible, as our body, our house and our things. It is the level we have most at hand to “do something” and introduce changes.
The physical world works more like a mirror of self care. Less in the sense of money values but in the sense of care, as for example eating regularly and healthy, taking care in our personal hygiene, take care of our clothes, move, sleep enough, maintain our house clean and tidy and look after our objects.
If we like to care for our things, it is a reflection of the consideration we do have for ourselves.
If through our physical appearance we try to raise our self-esteem the effects of any action are as good as they are transient.
The world of aesthetics and aesthetic interventions speak of this and are booming. Addictions to aesthetic arrangements rise because no arrangement is really able to change our self-esteem. So every time we find more defects to fix.
We recommend consulting a psychologist before surgery, especially if they are repeated.
Here is a good image how it works:
We can fix the facade of our house by leaving it beautiful. The interior of the house and our feeling of being in it remain the same.
Psychotherapy can make us feel more at peace and at ease in our home – in our body.
The way we relate to others mirrors is another and a deeper way our self-esteem:
A lack is often reflected in fear of rejection. In extreme cases this fear could prevent us from relating.
Trust and feeling comfort in ourselves, makes it easier to get in touch with others.
Self-criticism and perfectionism are other points that contaminate our relationships with fears and expectations.
Accepting ourselves is a good way to feel free with other people.
“Solving conflicts” is a frequent and gratifying issue in psychotherapy.
If we change what we think about ourselves our relationships with others change.
The source of self-esteem:
What we think of ourselves is the core of the therapeutic process and self-esteem.
Most of the beliefs we have about ourselves are in the hidden in the subconscious and act like programs.
Dysfunctional and irrational believes are harmful for our psychic health. Such beliefs can be for example:
I am not good enough, I am not worth, others have to approve me, I have to please others, I have to fight, I need to prove, etc.
These ideas feel very real. Yet they are very destructive for our self-esteem.
With the help of the psychologist we do identify irrational beliefs and disarm them with special psychological techniques like EMDR.
The result is feeling trust in ourselves and peace in our relationships.
To be the best person we can be for ourselves !